Honestly my self-esteem went down when some kid with the same voicing as me got into the vocal jazz group at my school and I didn’t like music is supposed to be my pursued major and I’m not even good enough to be in a higher group. So no I’m not really okay bc I’m not good enough for something I love. Then again maybe I never was, 5 years of violin and 3 auditions wasn’t enough to get into Chamber, maybe I’ll never be good enough in music or really for anything or anyone. I don’t know man, I just don’t want to feel not good enough. For once, I wanted to feel like I was enough, because all my life I’ve felt not good enough. I guess I crave something I never will ever get.